Saving Face Ad Infinitum

My Dad tells me that Mom is frustrated with me. He tells me that she is frustrated with my lifestyle and worried to death that I am going down. Stop this train before it derails. But my mom was infected by my dad. Three months before she was not sleeping on the edge of her bed. She wasn't in constant fear of my future. My dad's belligerent attitude towards my lack of goals has been an impetus for mom's stress and discomforture. If my dad did not marshal his efforts to discipline me, mom would never have reacted this way. She would not have been alarmed about my tien-hu (my future). It has been three months of avid busking and my parents have learned of my precarious behavior from my subtle stories and they have also been tipped off by my aunt. The Chinese have a different view of busking: they consider it begging, a shameful, loss-of-face behavior that denigrates not only the busker but also the parents which means the whole family loses face (sut thlai men). My dad insists that I stop ruining my future. My mom has prevented me from going; she's gone as far as giving me money. I refused her money because I did not earn it. I want to earn the money by working or quasi-working. Because my father refuses to let me work in any job that I prefer, I busk and busking has become my only means of expressing independence. The independence takes shape of money I get from strangers. The receiving of money provides me with the ability to support myself; it shows me that I have independence, in addition to talent. First and foremost busking has allowed me to exert my independence from my parents in a monetary way and also in a physical exertion for masculinity (Men have to work, period.). The second reason busking appeals to me is self-validation and ego-boosting. The fans that I come across and compliments that I receive help me boost myself and my confidence, as if my confidence has not been scarred enough. How do I save face when my parents (MY FAMILY) have condemned me? I might just break away from my family like Paul did. Shawn is right: 'if my parents do have it their way, I would stay with them forever, I would never leave.' I would end up doing something that they want me to do, I would never move out which means I will never get married, or if I did get married, it would be partly an arranged marriage when I'm in my thirties.