Anger Management

We all have deep dark secrets which rely on revelations. But not everything is dramatized. It is only dramatic if you make it dramatic. Gasps and long sighs are the facades of staged behavior, fake dramatic fronts that only draw attention to its own intentions of dramatizing. There is not one thing that I enjoy more than watching someone suffer. This schadenfreude allows for the anger, resentment, and indignation that I have against the world, to project. I can project all my deep-seated anger and hatred towards certain aspects and persons onto a particular person who is now suffering. It is strange because pessimism is unattractive. Nobody likes negative Nancies and Debby Downers. The reason why I extract so much pleasure out of watching someone else suffer is because of one reason: that person is not me. They are not I and I am not them. Therefore my relation to them is clear: I have no relation to them--I am not suffering, nor am I the one who is washed in a coat of emotions. But this only happens with people that I envy and dislike.

Hate is such a strong word on the radar that makes me cringe: I cannot imagine what hate means with all its baggage and connotations. It stands in firm contrast to love and happiness. But at the same time, I don't know what love is. I don't know what the essence of love is because it is simply intangible. I need material proof of love. I am sure that this is why sugar daddies dispense so much love by buying their daughters glorious gifts and expensive jewelry (not playing on stereotypes here). Therefore you cannot blame "golddiggers" for living "the kind of live" they do. If that was how they were raised and their single parent bought them munificent goods, what else do they know? They have always sought and recognized love to be confirmed by its corresponding material objects. Every time your Dad gives you a cupcake or a diamond studded ring, it shows that he loves you. This formula is similar to operant conditioning, only it does not impel you to do some kind of work or react physical. But it does move you to feel emotions, I causes you to feel some sort of love. Notice that it is some sort of love. Slowly and gradually this person will develop their own definition of love. "What is love? Baby don't hurt me no more." This lyric indicates that love is something that stands outside and above a person; it is this giant force acting upon a person, similar to the collective conscious. Collective conscious is the collection of norms and social standards that stand above us in society--it rules us and we abide by these rules, even though they are ultimately man-made and socially constructed.

What is hatred but a dark, ominous color? After all, emotions are like colors, and they color our world with this deep, mirky film. This film is a dark-colored filter that prevents us from seeing the light in the actually-light areas. Let me pose an example: When you are angry, everything you see and are approached by will make you tick and set you off. You feel as if everything is against you and you are being done a disservice over and over again. This is because the lens you view the world is only dark--one color. Your emotions will only point towards darkness. Only when you begin to see the light parts will you be able to stop being angry, and dispose of the anger (hopefully not projecting this anger to get rid of it).