"Chung Lang! Fai dee!!" My mum would always order me to take a shower as soon as dinner is complete. I always wonder why I don't comply. It would take me at least two hours to muster up actual energy to go shower. By the time I enter the peaceful bathroom my poor mum would be rudely awakened by the groans and moans of the faucet and aggressive water hitting the base of the tub. Later on my horrible singing would follow. I used to enjoy frolicking under a stream of hot water, lathering myself up and scrubbing away the unwanted residue of the day (reference to Psycho film when the female main showers to cleanse/de-sin herself). Lately I don't want to shower because I feel active when I'm away from my books and SkOoLwork. When I'm in the shower I am confined to think about unwanted, unhappy thoughts. But I have been able to control these thoughts and think more about my schedule while directing sad thoughts away from me.
There are so many females in my SkOoL. I loiter around the vending machine area and find six females gazing intently at the snacks. While their backs are turned to me I enjoy the view. Of course I dare not make a move because this is not a blind-date or speed-dating event. I feel as if my college is a distraction given the enormously large female student body, mostly Asians who dress in manifold fashion styles that catch my attention and make my head turn.
"Not everything is about you. ...the world doesn't revolve around you." This criticism dealt a blow on my ego ("The ego is part of the self!") when I was caught acting up in subtle ways. My friend told me that her best friend was working at McDonald's and my instant response was a repulsive tone with twisted mouth and distressed attitude, "Wow, she must see a lot of fat people." Not only is this condescending to her friend but it also offends the nature of the discussion. My friend did not ask for my opinion of the job. She did not ask me to place myself in the job for a second and imagine what it's like. She just informed me of where her friend worked. My subtle reaction of placing myself in the shoes of her friend showed her that every situation or scenario seems to involve me. This is a classic example of imagining oneself in the shoes of another for no good reason but to prod one's ego for power structure. Other ways of raising myself above others is by asking "How long is your essay?" By praising quantity over quality I falsely place myself above my fellow classmates who are rather concise in their essays. I, on the other hand, write too many pages and repeat myself for no good reason in a direction of a rather mediocre grade. These are subtle ways that I place myself above others in very small conversations. Condescension and ego-propping is a silent demon.
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