What aspects are paramount in friendship?
What constitutes a FRIEND ?
Martin and I have never been so distant. This begs the question: when were we ever close? Last summer, in lieu of staying for the entire Queens Talent Show (where I could have met a musician girl who plays guitar and sings), I arrived super early for Martin's impromptu BBQ in his dashing Brooklyn abode. My excursion from Queens to Brooklyn registered a daunting two and a half hours of bus rides and train rides that led me out of the heart of Flushing and back into my roots in the heart of Bensonhurst. I knew I would be rekindled with Martin, a friend whom I met in freshmen year of my college journey. We were never adversarial figures but in one point I could estimate that he was annoyed by my presence. It was clear that Martin and I had never established a formidable friendship. For one moment I believed that Martin could be my older brother who mirrored my estate of being single (currently he is not single; he is making face time w my friend), my sarcastic rhetoric and tone, and states of disappointment. I remember very clearly that Martin was burdened by girl trouble and I tried to allay his worries by chatting with him and advising him to avoid [her] at all costs because self-preservation was key. If only I could tell Martin my issues I am facing currently.
It is deeply regretful to say that time does erase memories. I can tell no more than two facts about Martin and I do not know muchly anything else. Is this regretful? I do not try to reach out to him so that exemplifies my laziness to rekindle with him. But again this is the natural fading away of a supposed friendship that was never really formed from the start. Quasi-friendships are usually threatened by a homosocial tendency (e.g. Batman and Robin). When two guys get too close and emotions are fuelled, things get fruity. No one likes to feel fruity in eyes of the same sex unless two persons were childhood BFFL.
On our way up the social ladder, we must not make the mistake of missing one step. Miss one step and you fall down only to reclimb it or to walk away from the ladder, reputation tarnished. I believe that Martin and I have spent considerable amounts of time grooming ourselves for others. We dress a certain way for other people to view us this and that way. The more persons that Martin high-fives or shakes hands with reminds me of this social climbing ladder. Sadly Hunter serves as an oven and breeding ground for a clique-ish type of atmosphere so I can't blame him for having so many contacts which he calls friends. I have a lot of "friends" too whom I cannot stop saying hi to in the halls.
I don't think I view Martin as my brother anymore. It's not fair to use him as a crutch. But I also don't think we will get any closer as friends because we are just not going to make time for that. It's just not in our field of interest at the moment. The best part about all this is that it's ok. It's okay that we do not.
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