Newfoundfriend

I won't lie to you. I had expected every girl that I'd meet in Union Square to be straight. Though I don't plan on crushing or having infatuations on every girl that I acquaint myself with, I find it unlikely not to fall for them. But this principle of attraction is rather misapplied and incorrectly laid out. I fall in love because of aura, not because of concrete personality. Then again there is no concrete personality when people are capricious creatures capable of insane things. But my principle is relatively based on the halo effect: any girl that I meet tends to fascinate me if they talk back to me, respond to me, smile at me, give me their undivided attention for more than three sentences, asks about me, and does art. These are rather loose guidelines but I have structured my quest around these characteristics. When I saw Hien reading The Gay Science on the second round of steps I was mesmerized that an Asian girl would be reading philosophy. There was something exotic and peculiar about Asian women reading philosophy if they were not hipster. Hien didn't look hipster to me, but then again looks could fool. These were my preliminary assumptions. But it turns out that she is incredibly open-minded and free-spirited in a way that blew my mind out of the water; I finally met an Asian chick who is intelligent and amazingly collected in her knowledge of politics. Unfortunately our orientations do not align and her field of interest is definitely not my two cents. However this does not prevent us from trading knowledge, especially because she wants to think, philosophize, and tackle those tough, deep questions about life and why we are placed on this earth. Perhaps having another newfound friend who is new to New York City is not bad at all. Besides there wasn't a way I could resist seeing her; her knowledge reeled me in and I knew that I was attracted to intelligent women regardless of end gain or means to an end. Certainly I don't believe that Kant would be angry because I want to be good friends with Hien, show her around NYC, and make her two weeks memorable before she heads off to intern on Capitol Hill for the summer months.

Vicarious. This word is dreadful especially because I know that if I hang out with a certain person I will do things with them that I find fit when I'm on a date or when I'm on a trial period with a girl. This breaks the actual relationship ("just friends") and it causes a strange facade that I have to actively manipulate so that I can fulfill my vicarious desires. This is the weird part because I allow myself to spend time with a certain friend and I pretend that I am on a date with them and do things that I would normally do with my date. But they are not my date, they are simply my friend. But I do these things as if I am doing them with my date, excluding kisses and physical intimacy of course. I am shallow because I reserve date-like activities to crushes while I don't take my friends to see sunsets and other romantic things. Flying a kite is not necessarily a romantic thing so I let Linda fly a kite with me. I wouldn't walk on the beach during sunset with a mere friend. It's not that I discount my friends and place more emphasis on my relationship, it's rather than I place an emphasis on a certain categorization and false sense of security and stability by doing romantic things with certain people. Therefore if they do romantic things with me in return, I will know that they want to be romantic around me; it sets up this self-fulfilling prophecy in a way in which I cannot be let down or disappointed. I'm doing these things with them and these are romantic acts, or pseudo-romantic because not everything I personally believe is romantic is what you consider romantic.