Impression Managements

Instructors insist there are no stupid questions (only stupid students). Today I said a stupid comment, "We know this already." In my opinion, the class was a level 3 course, but we were still going over the "basics." My professor chastised me and reminded that there are other students who may not know this or may have forgotten, and need to be reminded (not criminal). Now that I think about it, I've criticized almost every class I have taken in my lyfe. This is simply irrational: I come to school to learn. TO LEARN. By saying that we have learned this and that, I have contradicted my purpose of being in school: I enrolled to learn, not to complain about my courses. I remind myself that the rest of the class is sitting quietly and absorbing info while I'm a Marxist; this highlights my irrationality and overexaggerated expectations of having a Harvard course. Besides, the most rational choice would be to drop the course and find a better one.
1. Professors are not alike, that is not their fault
a. They may not be as experienced as tenured professors (duh)
b. expecting too much shows your competence level is questionable
c. If you don't like it, drop the course and stop whining about it
d. If you're going to SETTLE and take it because it's a GER Core class, accept the fact that professor is mediocre, and PROVE that you can live through his class by getting a high grade

I'm talking to my dad on the subway and he hushes me: "Son... if you speak up, people will know you have no knowledge. Those who raise their voice are showoffs, they really don't know sh*t." Applying this and reflecting on my classroom behavior, I can witness some sense in his comment. I used to generalize my classmates as quiet, shy, and stupid because they did not participate. This is an irrationality: some may be tired and unwilling to answer altogether, some are distracted (their own business), some are uninterested, and some just don't know. To assume they are all dimwits is really inexcusable behavior. What I did was belittle my class in order to make myself feel at the top. But when exam time comes around, the grades reflect that I am the dumb*ss. There is really no sense in over-participating in class and inserting huge dictionary words to show off to the professor. And nobody likes a suckup (external suckups). Ostentatious behavior and garrulous outbursts in class are annoying, says society. Showing off to the professor means irking fellow classmates. A philosopher once said that wise men speak less words. I better keep it short, sweet, and simple (Kiss it simple stupid!). Ecclesiastes said that "the more words you speak, the less they mean." So think about the Gricean Maxims of quantity, quality, manner, and relation when forming sentences and properly getting a message across to a receiver/audience.

Ah yes, the time and place theory. It goes like this:
*There is a time and place for certain functions. This here is not the right platform for this behavior...
I'm having awesome chats with females in my class (because there are 28 females and 4 males). But the most obvious boil is that my conversations with them are plain awkward. If I didn't get it then, I wouldn't have gotten it now. But it's true: women often don't chat with me again. There are very simple explanations for this:
1. Students assume civil inattention in class just as they do on the subway
a. They enter the classroom with a clear mission: to learn and not be disturbed
2. Females don't like to be disturbed
a. They might not need a class partner to trade notes, etc.
1. If she does acquaint you for notes, know that is ALL SHE WANTS from you. NO, SHE'S NOT using you. Keep in mind that she's using you as an ends, not a means to an ends. So it's ok
2. There are things that you don't ask aka keep distance b/w business (strictly classroom) and pleasure (social life).
i. If she makes room to ask you what your subjects are, great, ask her about her ACADEMIC ASPIRATIONS. That's it! Don't chat about social life (e.g. You wanna get coffee? You want to watch a show? You want to sit down for lunch in the cafeteria). Of course, this depends on "how close" you two have become over ONE SEMESTER (not so close)?!!!!!
Most importantly, know when a goodbye means a goodbye. A solid goodbye means let her go to her next destination, don't stop her by being awkward or sentimental or touchy touchy.

I learned that I a mostly a people pleaser by offering females notes in class or offering to tutor them in the library. This definitely sounds like invitations to more than just studying; it is means to an end (capturing their attention). This is unnecessary because I know that after two weeks of semester have passed, we are in no shape to be best friends. And if she doesn't return my studying favors for her, we are not friends. Why should I please her and help her when I am clearly aware that she is not my friend, just a classmate? There's reality here and there's fantasy. But it's so easy for me to fool myself and think her as my friend (already?! wow!). That's why classmates say hi and bye. That's it! Hi and bye are examples of social grace and common courtesy which bear no significance but "courtesy." I learn not to make these greetings and farewells mean more than they actually do. I once said to a girl, "When will I see you again to study?" This was awkward b/c she was truly not expecting me to study with her again.