Actions speak louder than words! It's easier said than done. These adages resound truth because we act out so many unconcious things whenever our bodies direct us. Sometimes we're the actor inside a director, but we can't tell the difference between them both. And that's unpleasant.
I profess to people that I am a nice, innocent guy. But these words don't really relate to the actions I produced which are not anything close to nice and innocent. The reason why people say they're honest or they never lie is because they want to make themself feel secure before they actually tell a lie or be dishonest.
I live in my "own world" because this is the only way I can have control over myself and things outside of my locus of control. I seek and harness so much control unconciously and surrealistically that I stress myself out without even trying, and without even knowing that I stress myself out. I know all these philosophical things and sociological phenomena in order to protect myself, stay secure to, and be safe so I am not prone to devastations like others are. I want to be able to expect no surprises, expect everything, and be in control of everything. This amazing world of control does not allow me to see surprises because I don't allow them to be surprises in the first place. This control makes me oh so secure in my own world that it does not prepare me for challenges to come, at any rate in my near future. I am fooling myself with false sense of security.
When I'm diluted in thoughts and tattered in emotional wreck I force myself to believe things I would not want to. I self-deceive myself and practice confirmation bias. What I need to do is
I escape into my own world when I ride the subway with earphones plugged into my ears and my mp3 pumping fruity, romantic music. I would seek out a cute girl on the train and imagine myself with her for the entire ride, until she gets off. When she gets off I watch her slowly (movie-like fashion) walk off the train and walk out of my sight. I will know she was not meant for me. Our time was fleeting and undue. I'm a hopeless romantic who gets bored easily. This is awful.
"Hey, whatever works for you!" This quote seems to play up egoistic relativism (like cultural relativism).
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