Real Life =/= Movies

Often times things do not resemble the events in a sweet, glazed, fruity romance movie. But there is a pull here. I think that things occur in movies to gratify and to please because the intention is to provoke possibility which is ridiculous in "real life." There's no possibility in meeting a girl on the bus, but Shanghai Kiss delivered otherwise. It is amazing how I choose not to believe that movies are paradoxical or ironic when mirrored in my life. But the truth is not that there is impossibility because "anything is possible," but rather the thought of it not being possible is crazy too. Therefore I have problems understanding this equation! I keep thinking that finding someone who is as crazy as I am is impossible and I keep thinking that it is not not impossible that I can't find someone who is as crazy as I am. But somehow the norms hold me back as if societal norms loom above me, hanging over me like an alien spaceship from Independence Day. This also taps into the fact that I care about what other people think about me. I am fully involved in the looking glass self. This is so terrible because the only time when I don't care about what others think about me is when I'm not in their presence/co-presence (when I'm on the "shitter" or enclosed in an empty space).

Therefore I cannot talk to a stranger out of nowhere on the train or any other interesting places/exotic environments because I think it will go against the norms and time and place theory. I am afraid of what others around will think and I am mostly afraid of being let down aka rejected. I am afraid of having my feelings hurt because I don't have self-respect and confidence. Before I speak to a girl sitting on a bench reading I would feel as if I am intruding on her space and I feel unwanted and that my conversation is truly unwarranted. This is enough for me not to take the chance and make a move, provided the chance is right there. These are common roadblocks for me. I do fantasize that this move may equally surprise her and it might "touch" her into believing that there are persons out there who are not afraid to break the norms. However this is only a further false-confidence.

Scenario and it's Irrationalities
Setting: B&N Bookstore
Situation: Boy wants to talk to girl (non-flirtatious intentions which may unconsciously come out as flirtatious when girl perceives his words) who is reading a book in an aisle
Boy's Issue: I am unprepared, my breath stinks, I am hungry...these are a list of excuses that reveal insecurity and low self-esteem
I am unsure of what to say -- this is false belief -- the boy knows exactly what to say
I am breaking into her private space and INTERRUPTING her. This is irrational b/c you can't tell 100% if she is deep into her book or if she's there for leisure. Assumptions are bad, thou shall not make assumptions unless the situation is dire...e.g. She's reading a book and furiously doing her homework--thou shall leave damsel in stress alone!
I am not what she wants because I am not her "type." This is irrational because you DON'T KNOW HER TYPE, at all. Assumptions are harmful. Secondly, you may surprise her. If you don't make a move, you won't ever know, you will NEVER KNOW.
I am afraid of what others around me will think when I break the norm and start this conversation. Irrationality: This is a face-saving mechanism to avoid embarrassment (internal) and public image when one is rejected or simply ignored. The correct way to think is that even if you get ignored, you can try once more, if this is in vain then walk away. You have the option to give up not because you're a failure but because you tried. Another irrationality is that people around you are supposed to be minding their own business. Therefore if other people are doing that, stares and looks in your direction should not imply their full attention, therefore they don't care about your hitting-on-this-girl activity.

One remedy for this is to suspend all thoughts and scrub every sense of expectation in your head. Go outside and experience things, "party hard" like my blockside neighbor Paul said, and disregard the responsibilities for the time being. The problem here is that you can't take into consideration "the time being" within thinking about the time you're in. There lies a heavyhanded predicament that through practice and "being chill" can easily help.

I believe that there are persons out there who are wishing for the same thing -- they want to meet persons who stray away from the norms and act a little "crazy" because normal is overrated and overdisplayed. Besides what is normal? We contradict ourselves by asking "What is normal" but how easily we gesture hate and annoyance towards someone who breaks norms. We are so quick to judge while we say that there is a sea of diversity and everyone must "do" themself. We let them practice themself and if they're doing whatever they gotta do, then that's their self, you can't tell whether they're being real or not. Even if they're being fake, they can be fake, and that's being as close to real as they want to portray. "You are who you want to be." You show the world who you want to show, you have no right to stop the person from acting a certain way unless it impinges on your rights. Certainly a person who is acting false has a right to be ingenuine. I believe if you take in the scope of his situation you will find chinks in his armour that will be the reason(s) why he is "faking."