Women & Sex Scenes

I just walked out of a film screening of Saving Face starring two Asian actresses who later get naked in a sex scene. I watched this scene with fifteen other students in pitch darkness. I think I might be a prude; I found it rather strange and discomforting to watch a sex scene with a room of other students. The room may not be packed for me to feel this way, so I rule out the quantity factor. The room may not be dark, so I rule out the visibility factor. I don't care if anyone really sees me watching the scene or relishing the sex. I think it has something to do with my having an erection while watching that scene and fearing that my enjoyment of that scene will be discovered later on my face. But that surely couldn't be the issue because it would not matter once the film is over. And the lights would not turn on after that scene. Foremost, no one really cares solely about my reaction. But still, I feel this intense embarrassment to watch the scene in a more appropriate way which is watch it without having an inclination to be turned on. I watched the scene trying my best to be sexless and feel completely neutral about the scene. But of course, I got aroused because I saw Lynn Chen and Joan Chen on top of each other. It almost caused a vicarious experience within me: I was inside of these two characters for so long and dying to see this scene come because I knew that Lynn's character truly wanted this moment and that Joan's character Wilhelmina wanted it as well. So to see this sex as not a gratuitous moment of nudity but rather as a desire-fulfilled moment in the film, is appropriate. I am sure the director wanted this moment to be a climatic moment as well as a desire-fulfilled moment where two characters recognize their desires entirely and have intercourse to produce something fresh and reverberating.

Being aroused by two women having sex is a rather Western concept of titillation if you ask me. I've snooped gangbanger porn and other websites that glamorize Twins and double action and girl-on-girl sex. These websites clearly exploit the sexuality of two women in a pair, regardless of their "true" sexual orientation because porn is after all, an act. The fact that there are two naked women romping on the screen with each other creates a rather different dynamic than a heterosexual dynamic that is blase to porn world. This "double pair of tits" increases the titillation for a man to watch, not for a man to visualize himself engaging in it as much as simply enjoying the two women cajoling with each other in foreplay, etc. I think the stimulation comes from watching two women. TWO WOMEN, not simply one woman stripping or touching herself. The idea of having two women or even more contributes to the idea of orgies, even though orgies involve other men in plain view. I suppose the allusion is always fun when you watch three women take turns scrubbing each other's backs and then embracing each other's breasts with honey or syrup. There is an element of the Two-Girls-One-Cup fetish if we remove the fetish. The very fact that there are two women present creates double the pleasure, this effect of having two women in vicarious intercourse. While a guy watches it, he can envision two women pleasuring him maybe one at a time or two at a time, or taking turns pleasuring him.

I personally prefer to watch straight porn not because it promotes or legitimizes heterosexuality but because it is seen as the "norm" and in my act of conformity in porn preference, I give in the straight porn because I can easily relate to the male and his desires (unless he is slapping the shit out of the girl and fisting her and doing nasty things that are simply inhumane and involves bestiality, etc.!) when he has foreplay with a woman. I can vicariously enjoy the sex scenes and identify with the male's sex equipment because it represents my phallic power as well. In this sense, a metaphor for male buying power in the ability to exploit women by cash and sexual gratification. Not that I subscribe to these at all. I do not have sexual experience therefore watching pornography allows me to satisfy my deepest, unconscious urges. Watching these sex scenes allows me to embody certain male characters. And the pleasure/release comes from the obvious release of the male character who experiences the same euphoria (hopefully) when a male lets out his load. I don't think there is anything bad about using terms such as dick, ejaculate, cum, handjob, blowjob, but some parts of me feel that it is simply touchy and embarrassing even to imagine using these words in regular every day conversation, especially when not with close close friends. I feel that this prudish mindset is a way of staving off sexual arousal when I'm not in the state of sexual arousal. Therefore I believe that vocally stating these sexual terms is coupled with having sexual reactions whether this is a simple blush or an erection. All of these reactions are unwanted as much as they are unwarranted because of the obvious environment/setting!

I think that it is worse watching a sex scene with my parents because I am deadly afraid that they will see the enjoyment in my eyeballs when I try to block my eyes from the sounds and movements. I feel all eyes are on me whenever there is a sex scene and I'm actively watching it. Even if I'm not watching it I feel their eyes on me and they can see it that I'm relishing the intercourse because it's something that I want to engage in given the scene was not from a film and the character was in real life standing before me. Sex scenes are rather tricky because when actors unsuccessfully act out a sex scene it is obvious that there is no passion and there is no real feelings for each other whether carnally or instinctively. There isn't a want or an engulfing desire to touch each other or to enter each other that two horny persons would. When I watch well done sex scenes that are not fabricated I am embodying the male character most of the time and I feel his gratification and release when he is inside the partner of his choice. I can identify with the character because the character is really feeling it; he's not miming or fabricating a sexual attraction towards another woman who happens to be an actress who happens to be in the shoes of a character who likes him.