I didn't tell my parents "Sun gnee fai lok jook fook foo moo sun hay geen hong." But they did hug me as a practice every Chinese New Year when the clock hits midnight. My parents wanted me home early tonight to start a family reunion and feast. So I made it back by 4PM just in time for the first feast where my mom and dad laid out chopsticks and bowls of rice for two Gods: goon sai yum por saht and for teen ah gong (Moon God). I preyed after dad and wished myself and my family a prosperous and healthy year. This was a time for me to talk to the Gods in my head and announce my wishes for this year. I remember when Dad used incense at my old apartment. The scent would permeate my room. Usually he would prey once or twice a day. I stopped doing this five years ago automatically. There was no rhyme or reason to it. Honestly, Chinese New Year is still a half-mystery to me. I cannot say that I understand it completely. Just like every jook sing (Born in America or emigrated here at early age) revels in American culture and steers away from Chinese culture. Then again this depends on the social networks. If you have strong ties to Chinese relatives you will be able to foster Chinese values, culture, etc. If you have weak ties then you won't care too much about your culture.
I watched this video on Youtube called "Shit that Asian Moms Say." The actor from JustKiddingFilms portrayed stereotypical Asian mothers who wear flip flops, call their children demeaning things, and shout "aiyah" on a regular basis. There was something about the video that made it strangely hilarious and unforgivingly funny. I laughed until my face got red. There was nothing more hilarious than watching the mere exaggerations of Asian mothers. In all their glory this video is a tribute instead of a diss. But some people still think this mocks Asian mothers. I cannot understand why some people cannot lighten up. I suppose if you presuppose the video you're watching is for comedic effect i.e. it is for laughs rather than taken seriously, then you will take the video as a joke and shrug it off. But the way we view media does not contain a right or wrong way: you can be inspired to view it as comedy or you can view it as propaganda. Whatever purpose or ends you think the video facilitates is not a wrong answer, it's simply your interpretation.
Chinese New Year has become commercialized just as every other holiday is commercialized. But it is more pronounced this year especially with Chinatown Restaurant Week. I watched the creator of restaurant week Julie Huang discuss the facts of Chinese New Year and the occult culture to NY1's anchor. Watching this was incredibly disturbing because the anchorwoman who was white did not understand Asian culture so she asked incredibly general questions and rephrased Julie's answers in rather illustrative tone. I can't shame or castigate the anchorwomen for misrepresentation or lack of respect because she completely honored Julie's answers. But there was something inside of me that ticked: I felt as if Chinese culture was consumed and edified into simple ten fun facts including why red is a lucky color and why oranges are present at home. It seems that Chinese New Year has been categorized and symbolized by increasingly popular symbols such as red and oranges, the same way Easter is symbolized by overabundance of colorful eggs and hidden bunnies. I don't believe this is what Easter is about. Yet the irony here is that I do not know anything about Easter; I only recite the eggs and bunnies to talk about Easter. This is reproduced in a commercialized easy-to-remember fashion. Chinese New Year becomes a laboriously-prepared holiday for Asian families who ward off bad luck and usher in good luck. This tagline is guaranteed to circulate white persons' heads, or rather non-Asians' heads.
I got onto the train today and I heard a white dude talking about the year of the dragon as if this dragon symbolizes Chinese persons around the globe. He ridiculed it. But I think what amplified his insensitivity is the very facial fact that he is not Asian, but rather he is white. My tendency to prosecute is only heightened when the person is white. Because this society is founded on white values that repel and stifle other cultures' values. Therefore a white person who speaks gibberish about Chinese New Year repudiates me and I find it odious especially on day one of Chinese New Year. I can't begin to describe the apprehension of shame in two prong-forks: I am shamed because my culture is belittled, and I'm shameful of my inability to go into depth about my own Asian culture that surrounds me. But truth is I do not surround myself with the culture while the culture surrounds me; I cast myself farther away from my own heritage so that I can embrace the American culture more. Should you judge me for creating intense self-loathing or refusing of self? That's up to you? Do you believe that being yourself includes admitting your skin color is tied to a certain "basic/original" culture?
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