Actors need to focus on one thing. In other words, actors cannot multitask. Tragedies have unfolded on set when sacrifices are the mishaps. Only one renown actor can play dual roles seamlessly: Clint Eastwood (Gran Torino). As an actor I have learned that vacillating between main character and director is tiring and emotionally taxing. These separate roles cause a rift between concentration A and concentration B as if I'm jumping between two plates that have equal importance. But I can only fulfill one role over the other. Therefore one of the two roles suffer as a result. I just can't be good at two things at once. An actor always need someone to spot him and to train him and to direct him. This person is the director. The director is not a sidekick or a chum. The director is fully in charge because he is the coach of the actor and the force that shapes and molds the actor as he does his thing.
The looking glass self theory maintains that we derive our reflection of ourselves from people around us, whether these social agents are our friends or strangers that casually pass us by anonymously. I know myself because other people see me as this "self." This particular self is learned because others tell me about me in one shape or form. As I sat in the restaurant and looked at Julianna, Claudia, and Linda, I realized that I could not escape their scrutinizing gaze. It was clear that I was rendered a certain self or selves the moment they chose to identify me as their friend or confidente. It's not easy to let yourself be friendized especially in a world where Facebook and Friendster determines the status of friends. I admit that I rely on others to interpret me, but I don't prefer that they tell me about me. This is strange because the whole point of the looking glass self is that I derive an idea of my self from others who tell me about my very self. But I don't want to know because comments may be rude and rather opinionated. I turn these comments into mere interpretations, subjective interpretations, if I don't like the sound of the comments. Especially if they are criticisms that beg for me to change or push me towards some form of change (regardless of change for the good or bad), I will close my ears and play defense mechanisms. One of these mechanisms is pretending that their criticism is rather skewed and flawed. I pretend that they were in some type of mood when they made the comment. I also make light of the comment by self-deprecation or self-abasement. Self abasement is making fun of myself to elicit self-pity and pity from others. This form of "emo-ness" allows for me to feel unique as Julianna said. I feel unique and apart from normal when I'm sad. My sadness is what marks me as a unique person. My realm of sadness and emotional moorings contribute to my uniqueness which is in opposition to the mundane happiness and average-Joeness of other people around me.
I need friends to tell me what I'm doing right or wrong. They are my looking glass which fill me in on my positive traits and ugly traits which need to be revealed in a sensitive fashion, especially because I'm a sensitive person. However, sensitive may not always be addressed and respected. Sensitivity is not always accepted and evaluated. Some friends may say things that will still insult me or graze me. Apparently, there is such a thing as honesty which shoots sensitivity down in some cases. I'm sure you can be sensitive while being honest. You can be open to my emotions when you tell me I stink and need to take additional showers before going out into the world. Bad example, but you get the point. I need my friends to tell me things that I want to hear, for a majority of the time. But they are useful when I need someone close to tell me things I don't want to hear, or even know. Some people have thicker craniums which are not receptive to positive advice. Sometimes they need to be told in order to see certain things even within themselves. Especially because it's within themselves (they're not as hyperaware as I am) they cannot see their internal ugliness, hence they need to be told vocally or abrasively.
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